https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_hams

Voted the “best”

Get money. Get PAID

Husband to Mary. Married in a private ceremony conducted by Paul Hollywood.

In English his name means Tony Stones, in Italian it means “Touch me like builder touches his favourite hammer”

Called Archie. Born in Windsor. Also a prince.

Zim Zimma

Who got de keys to my Citroen Relay

Grade 3 on the Bassoon

Voted “best glasses” 2017

Voted “best glass eye” 2012

Looks like a finger, feels like a thumb

Who ya gonna cal??? Hopefully Cal, he misses you.

“...but is it Instagramable though?”

Beer, Pizza, Cats, Repeat…

Is the reason Claudio Ragnieri wasn’t invited to Jamie Vardy’s party

He puts the CIAN in SCIANCE!

Take 1 bag of pickled onion Monster Munch. Smash up. Sprinkle over chips. Eat. Cry alone.

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.

They call me Hamilton. Darren Hamilton

How now brown cow?

Founder – G Unit fan club & message board. West Midlands division. 1999 – Present.

Hello cheeky.

Fudge off, Molly

Once ate Colin Farrell’s garibaldi biscuits by mistake.

Too Fast, Too Furious

Πανκ ιζ νοτ ντεντ!

Won Antipodean female mime artist of the year 2016. Signature move, pushing a stubborn elephant.

Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner!

Signed for Paceco 1976 in Jan 2019 for £90

Eat spaghetti to forgetti your regretti

Could be better… Could be worse!

I like to pack it pack it

I want to adopt a cat and my favourite colour is purple. I can give the cat a good home

Confucious say – Man who make mistake on elevator, wrong on many levels.

Hugo Lloris’ stunt double

First aired May 25th 1992. 

The H is silent.

he 3rd member of the Bushwackers – never made it to WWF glory

My neck

My back

My drivers are all on track

Lost his shoes in a tragic PH testing accident

Q: What’s the difference between the Greyhound depot in Mobile, Alabama and a lobster with breast implants? A: One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean

Least awkward on camera: 2014 winner, 2012 Runner up.

Woof!

Fudge off, Molly

Clocked that Google T-Rex game

When you are the moon, the best form you can be is a full moon

Even a VIP needs to VIPoo

Don’t put all your Megs in one basket

Only 2 things are certain in life. Quantum mechanics and her horoscope

Like a Bat Out of Mel

Do you ever look at your life and wonder how you got here? Miquel doesn’t. He got the bus.

Nonie coleslaw

Favourite Dinosaur: T.Rex

Favourite T.Rex: Marc Bolan

Prefers wine

Wolverines claws are made from Neils jawline

Discovered celery.

Used to do adverts for Renault with her Dad

Began a career in brewing after the jobs as Martin Short’s stunt double dried up. We loved his work in The Three Amigos.

Beavertown’s Next Top Model

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Jobbie Rudkins

Dame Judi Dench in disguise, I’m sure of it.

A rotisserie chicken a day keeps the doctor away.

Excels at spreadsheets

Excels at spreadsheets

10x more durable than your normal woju.

Lately, I don’t really wanna know, how your garden grows, cos I’m not bloody Alan Titchmarsh – alright sunshine?!

Warning, objects in the rearview mirror may be more photoshopped than they appear.

Darling I could murder a slice of Lemon Drizzle cake.

More issues than Beavertown Transmission.

Trisha Moron

Never leave home without your tin foil hat

Sold spare parts for vacuum cleaners door to door in Bavaria until a chance meeting in 1999 with Pope Benedict XVI convinced him to quit his job and follow his lifelong dream of becoming professional Phantom – available at short notice for all your haunting needs.

Pork AND Spam.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

Panda, Panda

Panda, Panda, Panda, Panda, Panda

I get my office supplies from Atlanta