They named their team Beavertown then lost every game

2 minute read

We’ve been listening, laughing and losing it over your stories all Summer, but not all stories are narrated equally. Some storytellers left us captivated by their universal tales, and we wanted to meet them. So we did.

“Not every team can go through almost two seasons without a win”

We’d have to agree. 7-a-side football team ‘The Beavertown Baddies’ (our lawyers stress ‘unofficial’, but our lawyers always stress) have been playing together for 8 months, but they’ve never won a game. The whole team are originally from Melbourne, Australia, but these Aussie’s abroad actually found one another after they landed in London.

“Every week, we’re still so confident that we finally can get a win”

Captain Michael tells us their closest brush with victory was a match where they were astounded to find themselves 1-0 up at half time, only to crash out 5-1 down at the final whistle.

It’s no surprise that they always go for a drink after the game, and to show our support we flew by the sidelines, squeezed the spaceship into an NCP, and delivered a loot box of beer to boost their spirits. In return, they offered us season tickets, but we were concerned about the effect that would have on our spirits.

“We invited Beavertown down...however on the night the opponents never showed up! They forfeited the game which technically was a win for us”

So things are looking up? “We’re starting to have more belief the more time that passes.” Maybe we should give them a lift to a planet with low gravity where time passes much, much quicker. Or somewhere they might feel more at home, like San Marino.

So, what keeps them coming back to the pitches by East London’s Shacklewell Arms every Thursday?